Frostbitten Memories
by MissReaperMan
Summary: When Rose gets a black eye from Janine, she loses her memory. She can only remember running from the Guardians in Portland. Things go on from there as she tries to receive those memories she lost. Especially the night of the lust charm. Re-doing the whole thing and continuing on.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay guys, this is my first fan fiction so, wish me luck. I can't believe no one ever really did this before. Basically when Rose's mum punches her in training, she doesn't just get a black eyes-she forgets basically everything including her feelings for Dimitri, everything with Victor, spirit, everything other than being caught by the Guardians in Portland.**

**Hope you enjoy reading-Saphrenia**

What in the _hell_ was going on? I was in the med clinic. Someone shining a really annoying light in my eyes and I just wanted to punch them in the face for it.

"What's your name?" Okay, that's just ridiculous. How in the hell would I wind up here without them knowing my name?

"What?" I asked, squinting at the light.

"Your name" I recognised who I thought to be Dr. Olendzki peering over me. I vaguely remembered her from my time at the academy before Liss and I ran away.

"You know my name. It's only been two years, you can't have forgotten me in that amount of time."

"But I want _you_ to tell me your name." Her voice quavered slightly as she spoke, almost as if she was afraid of what type of reaction her words might get.

"Rose. Rose Hathaway." I put as much of my haughty attitude into my words as I could manage.

"Do you know your birthday?"

"_Duh!_ Of course I do. And why the _hell_ am I in here?"

The Doctor sighed and let her head droop slightly. She turned swiftly out of the room, muttering something about "returning shortly". I sighed angrily and fell back against the pillows. Why was I here? I don't remember anything, nothing except Lissa and I being taken back to the academy. I don't remember how it happened. Okay. This is really starting to piss me off.

Vague bits and pieces came back, but not enough to remember much. Lissa, her cutting, I remember that. And something about Victor Dashkov, I couldn't remember what though.

Voices sounded in the hall, shocked and disbelieving. I recognised one as Alberta Petrov's. The head Guardian here at St Vlad's. But the two I didn't recognise were what shocked me the most. One was a woman's. She sounded almost desperate, like she didn't believe what the doctor was saying. The other was a man's. I didn't know him at all but he sounded desolate, under that thick Russian accent. It was masked, like he wanted so desperately to hide those feelings.

"How can she have lost her memory? I didn't hit her that hard. I . . . I didn't even mean to hit her." The woman had a ridiculous Scottish accent but what she was saying made me freeze. She hit me? She made me forget? What in the hell was going on here?

I leapt out of bed and pulled open the door with the strength I didn't know I had. They all jumped back in surprise, except the man. He had his head bowed down in silence, almost like he was mortified by the words that had just reached his ears.

"What do you mean I've lost my memory? I can remember taking Lissa away. I can-" I stopped, as soon as I tried to remember anything after that a strong headache picked up in the centre of my forehead. It was agonising.

"Rose, don't try to remember. You'll only hurt yourself." Dr. Olendzki's voice sounded over the pounding.

"_Rose! _Rose are you alright?" That was my mother, she was the woman with the weird Scottish accent. She was also the one that had hit me. On _purpose_. She hit me because-

I cried out from the pain and clutched my head. I fell to the ground on my knees, but the pounding wouldn't cease. It hurt. Oh God it _hurt_. Arms-big strong arms-wrapped around me, pulling me close to their owner. A sweet delectable scent filled my nostrils and I inhaled deeply.

God that smell. I loved his cologne, I loved it just as much as I loved-

The pain became too great and I screamed. Why would this not end? I was vaguely aware of being placed on a bed and soothing words-that made absolutely no sense to me-were being whispered in my ear. Only, one word did register with me, and I sure wished it hadn't.

_Roza_.

Just Roza. Nothing else. But it caused so much more pain than anything else had. I screamed again. It was filled with agony. Absolute, pure, undeniable agony.

I passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

**For those who enjoyed the first chapter, I'm pleased.**

**I hope you enjoy the second instalment-Saphrenia**

When I woke my headache was gone. No trace whatsoever. For that I was glad. But I was still in the infirmary. I could tell by the smell in the air. It was all disinfectants and other things I have absolutely no interest in.

I didn't want to open my eyes just yet. I was afraid of what might happen. But at least I had a few facts. One: My mother punched me in the face. Apparently she now regretted her actions, why she was here in the first place I don't yet know. Two: That one punch made me form some type of amnesia making me forget. And three: Whenever I try to or accidentally remember something that I forgot, a killer headache sets in and gets worse for everything I remember.

Soft breathing is coming from the corner of the room. Apparently I have a visitor. Could it be Liss? A quick check of the bond told me otherwise. It also told me the bond was stronger and much more powerful than it used to be. Her emotions were running strong, she was worried. Extremely worried-for me. They wouldn't tell her what had happened to me, they would only say I was in the infirmary, I was to stay there, no visitors. Well damn, this sucked. I sighed without realising what I was doing until it was too late.

"Rose," A voice began.

I sat up and a rush of dizziness engulfed me. Hands immediately went to my back and gently lowered me down again. Those hands made my skin tingle, even through the layers of clothing I wore.

"Easy there Roza, easy." It was that man. He looked the same, if not worse than before. He looked like he was in pain but was trying to hide it. He had bags under his eyes, like he hadn't slept in a while. He seemed familiar to me, but at the same time, he looked alien. I had no idea who this man was or who he was to me.

"Have you really forgotten me? Everything? Spirit? Even Natalie?" He sounded unsure of what to do or what to say. He even sounded like he might cry. It made me want to hug him. Wrap my arms around him and never let go.

"I . . . I'm sorry. I just, don't remember. I wish I could but I can't. I . . ." I trailed off, not knowing what else to say. "Can you tell me what I've missed? Everything?" I sounded hopeful, I didn't mean to but couldn't stop myself from feeling that way.

At that moment the Doctor came back into the room, followed by Alberta, then my mother. She looked smaller than usual, timid, and heartbroken.

"Rose, you're awake!" With Dr. Olendzki's words, my mother's head snapped up almost instantly and her eyes looked alert. When she saw me pain and regret filled them, which was surprising considering she usually held her Guardian mask on whilst around me.

Alberta took a tentative step forward. "Rose. What do you remember? I want to know everything and anything." Wow. Blunt. Okay then. Orders are orders.

"I remember taking Lissa away, in Portland the Guardians came for us, and we ran. But we were caught and brought back here. I don't remember anything else." Their faces fell as my words sunk in and took full effect.

"Okay Rose, we're going to have to start at the beginning then. We'll tell you what you . . . can't remember." She sounded unsure of what she was saying. Like she didn't quite believe them herself. But in her eyes was a look I could only name as determination. Then, she began.

"You were brought back from Portland with Lissa. You were both put back into classes, you were given a mentor," She indicated the man standing by my bed. "Guardian Belikov, and were assigned training sessions to catch up. We knew about you bond with the Princess, so that's safe. Lissa kept growing more unstable, she was continuing with her . . . cutting. Dying or already dead animals were being placed in areas or locations Lissa would find, trying to get her to heal again. But you were able to stop her, until you yourself were injured. Then she healed you without a second thought."

I remembered that. My ankle. I was walking along one of the benches when it broke, my ankle got stuck and, oh man did that hurt. Feeling hot, then cold, then hot again. Weird. But Liss healed. Just like Miss Karp used to.

Alberta continued on, not noticing my racing thoughts. "On the night of the school dance, you broke somebody's nose and were taken back to your dorm." Huh, that sure sounded like me. Must of been one hell of a party. "Later that night, Liss was kidnapped by Victor Dashkov." She stopped to see my reaction.

"Why in the _hell_ would Victor Dashkov kidnap Lissa? That's insane. He's like family to her. He wouldn't do something like that." My voice was rising, I was almost yelling.

"But he did, Rose." That Beli-whatever guy spoke up. His words shut me up, so Alberta continued once more.

"He wanted her to heal him Rose. That's why he did it. He used a compulsion necklace on you and Guardian Belikov, it made you attack him." No it didn't.

Images came back to me. Him opening a door, wearing nothing but pyjama pants, me ending up completely naked underneath him. My name being whispered over and over again, almost like a prayer, _Roza, Roza, Roza._

Okay that _cannot_ be right. She said he was my mentor. I must be imagining things.

"After you both stopped it, we went after Victor, with you leading us through the bond. He tortured Lissa until he healed her. She did. But Victor is in custody now Rose, Lissa is fine. I have to go now. Guardian Belikov, could you please tell her the rest?" He simply nodded his head and she left the room followed by my mother, trailing after her.

Then something hit me-figuratively.

I was alone in a room with this Guardian Belikov guy. And might I say, he is freaking _hot!_ More than just hot, he's a god. And with the way he's looking at me now. It's sending electric currents all through my body. And I have to say, I rather liked it.

**Well, there you have it everyone. Hope you're riveted enough to wait for more.**

**And I won't make any promises. It might take me time to update each chapter. I am writing a novel, I can't update every day. But I will try to get chapters up whenever I can.**

**Love you all-Saphrenia**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry guys for not updating in a while, but I'm here now so, yeah. Enjoy the next installment.**

"Well Rose, would you like me to tell you everything?" He asked me honestly.

"Yes. Everything." I couldn't get that image of us out of my head. I had to fight hard to keep the blush away from my cheeks.

He smiled politely at me, then began.

"Rose, it's Christmas in a few days, so you know. The other day, we drove out to a moroi home, for you to take your qualifier. The home had been attacked, strigoi had humans stake the wards. They were all found dead."

Bodies and blood flashed before my eyes. A woman lay on her back, blood pooled around her head. Bodies, bodies and more bodies.

"Rose are you alright? Rose?" I shook my head at him, hands reaching up instinctively to clutch at my head. "Rose what is it?"

"Bodies. _Everywhere!_ And blood. It's just horrible." His arms wrapped around me and pulled me close. I clutched at his chest instinctively, my face resting in the crook of his neck. "I think I'm going to start remembering things, slowly. But, I think I will. At least I hope I do." I could fell his chest vibrating gently as he let out a soft chuckle. I had a feeling he didn't do that very often, or even let people see his emotions.

"You are certainly not acting like the Rose Hathaway I know."

"Well maybe you just haven't seen all sides of me yet Comrade," I smiled cheekily up at him.


	4. Chapter 4

With everything I had been told, the thing I was most shocked to find, was the fact that Lissa was dating _Christian Ozera_. But the feelings coming from the bond told me she was happy. But I still didn't like him.

Lissa was extremely worried when she found out I couldn't remember anything. She took the liberty of showing me through the bond. I didn't quite know how the bond had grown stronger, but it definitely had. It still only went the one way though.

I hadn't seen my mother since she had left the infirmary and for that I was glad. I found classes had just finished and we were going to a Ski Lodge for Christmas. Mason was so stocked when he told me that, but when I didn't really talk much he realised something was up, but he didn't know what. He bugged me until I told him. He-understandably-flipped. He wouldn't stop cursing profanities at my mom until I laughed at him, that made him laugh then. I didn't quite notice it to begin with, but Mason liked me. He really liked me. I just wasn't sure what to do about it.

I got invited to lunch on Christmas with Lissa and Christian. It just so happened it would be with Christian's aunt. Apparently Dimitri was invited as well because he turned up. He and Tasha Ozera seemed really good friends. They got along so well, their easy banter made me jealous for some reason, I don't know why. Luckily I wasn't too bored with Mason here with me.

"Umm, Rose?" Tasha seemed hesitant. "Where did you get your black eye from? You just don't seem the type to get that kind of injury." I froze. So did everyone else in the room. So, no one told her about my state of amnesia.

"Apparently, I got it from my mother." Her jaw dropped. "But I just can't remember. You know, I can't seem to remember anything else either. Like say, since me and Liss were brought back here."

"What on earth do you mean Rose?"

Dimitri spoke up. "After we got back from Missoula, I wasn't available to train Rose in the morning so her mother stepped in. Rose was brought to the infirmary unconscious, and now, she has amnesia." Wow. That sure was a delicate way of putting it.

"You know, it would've been much easier to say my mom punched me in the face. I can't even remember why. I wonder why that is. Oh yeah, I lost my _freaking_ memory."

Tasha paled. A hard thing to do when she already had pale moroi colouring.

"Janine." My teeth ground together as her presence became known.

"Sorry I'm late." Who in the _hell_ invited _her_?


	5. Chapter 5

I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so badly my clenched fists had turned white from the pressure I was putting on them.

Mason quickly grabbed my hand to try and ease some of my anger. It wasn't working. I sat there, barely saying anything at all, while it seemed everyone else was having a great time. Mason even was asking my mother about her strigoi kills. How could he? And Lissa! I felt hardly any sympathy through the bond, she was so absorbed with Christian that she wasn't even paying any attenti-

Wait. Liss had _SEX WITH CHRISTIAN OZERA!_

That, out of everything pissed me off the most. And I don't know why. My fingernails had grown fairly long, so I dug them into my arm. I barely felt the pain of it. I didn't even notice when it started to bleed. Dimitri did though.

"Rose,"

My head snapped towards his voice. "Uh, yeah?"

"Rose you're bleeding." Everyone's eyes turned to me.

"Oh, yeah. About that-I'm fine. Really .I just-"

I was cut off by him pulling my up off my seat and out of the room, muttering an apology and something like, "I'll be right back,"

"Rose!" His eyes held a strong, disapproving look-just for me.

"_What?_" I exclaimed. "I'm only bleeding. Got a little problem with the sight of blood comrade?"

"No Rose. I have a problem with you hurting yourself." You pulled up my sleeve to expose the bloody nail marks. I pulled back immediately-so did he-because once our skin touched that electric current once again jolted through me, setting a fire in the pit of my stomach and making my heart race at a thousand miles per hour. I wished that feeling wouldn't go away, I wanted it to stay forever.

He slowly began leaning in towards me, before I knew it we were only a few inches apart. "As much as you dislike her at the moment, she cares about you. We all do." He gestured to my wounded arm. "Be careful Rose, I don't like seeing you in pain,"

He was so close, we were only an inch apart. So close I could reach up and brush my lips against his. His aftershave was so strong, so powerful, it nearly made me go weak at the knees. Those deep brown eyes were completely mesmerizing, staring deep into my soul. All of a sudden he pulled back.

"Come on," He said, Russian accent growing heavier. "They'll be getting worried."

We made our way back to the others in silence, he didn't even glance at me. What had just happened? Would we have kissed if he hadn't pulled back? Was he interested in me that way? Of course he wouldn't be. I was just a silly teenage girl, whereas he was a fully trained guardian, a grown man-he wouldn't be interested in me. Clearly I was just taking what had just happened out of proportion. But somehow, somewhere deep inside me, I had a feeling we had been in a position like that before.

When we reached the others they all wore concerned expressions. Dimitri sat back down, his long, lean body folding gracefully into a chair. I made my way back towards Mason.

"Are you alright Rose?" It was Tasha who spoke. I just nodded in reply, my mind spinning.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I got a cut in training the other day. I forgot about it and started scratching my arm, that's all. I just made it bleed again, but I'm fine, no need to worry."

"I could take a look at it if you'd like? I'm trained in first aid,"

She moved to get up but I quickly sat down and said, "I'm cool."

She nodded her head reluctantly and they all returned to their conversations. Lissa kept shooting me worried glances as she had known that was a lie. She knew I had inflicted that wound myself and I was just trying to cover it up.

We soon parted ways, going off to separate locations of the academy. But not before Lissa gave me my Christmas present.

It was a small beaded bracelet. It looked like a rosary, but smaller, bracelet size. It had a cross hanging off. It was stunning. On the opposite side of the cross was an engraved image of a dragon. The family symbol for the Dragomirs.

"It's for my guardian. I can't keep it, it's for a Dragomir guardian, and you're mine, so it's yours." She wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace, and I returned it to her. "Merry Christmas Rose. I love you."

"You know, there's a strong possibility I'll get kicked out of school before graduation,"

"Well, then you can give it back." She smiled brightly.

"Merry Christmas to you too Liss,"

Then we parted. Mason and I headed back towards the dhampir dorms, but were soon joined by my mother. She didn't veer off in any other directions so it appeared that she had the desire to speak to me-alone. Mason got the hint, so when we got inside he immediately dispersed, making up some lame excuse that he had to "be somewhere".

So there I was, left alone with my mother. The woman who had caused the loss of my memory.


	6. Chapter 6

I so did not need witnesses for what might happen.

"Lets . . . you want to, um, go to my room?"

Her face registered shock, surprise, and uncertainty. "Um, yes. That would be nice," Yeah, nice my ass. It was anything but.

I stayed a fair distance away as I led her up the stairs and down corridors. These halls were empty as this was the girls section of the dorm, and there were very few. This was my domain.

She stayed silent when we reached my room, but she inspected everything-every angle, every miniscule detail-like the good guardian she was. I flopped haphazardly onto my bed, watching her pacing the tiny space. She came to a stack of books on animal behaviour and evolution.

"Are these for a report?" She asked.

"No." I said stiffly. "It's something I'm interested in. Not everything has to be academic, I like that kind of thing." My voice held a dangerous to it, but she didn't seem to acknowledge it.

Instead her eyebrows rose, she hadn't known that about me. She just thought I was some hapless teenager who was constantly drunk and partying, over every guy I saw and not the least bit interested in becoming a guardian-well she was wrong. I was going to make the best guardian this world had ever seen.

She resumed her pacing and I let out a sigh of frustration.

All of a sudden her arm extended towards me. "Here,"

_**Soz, but you all know what the nazar looks like so I won't describe it, I just can't find the words to.**_

It was definitely one of the most bizarre things I had ever seen, but somehow, it held sentimental value for me. I ran my thumb over the cool pendant and suddenly, an image flashed before my eyes. A memory.

A man, with a bearded face, gold earrings, a flashy and expensive scarf, a broad smile with a flash of his white fangs. He had dark hair and dark eyes, tanned skin-well as tan as any moroi can get. In fact, he looked a lot like me.

It went as soon as it came though, and before I knew it I was staring into the face of my mother once again. She didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong, let alone guess what had just happened to me. How could she?

"Uh, thanks." I said, slightly flustered. She resumed her pacing, back and forth across my little room. After a few moments she halted. "How's your eye?" She questioned cautiously.

"Getting better," I spoke stiffly, agitated. She wouldn't have to ask if she hadn't punched me in the face. I couldn't even remember why she did it in the first place.

She opened her mouth as if to apologise, but I interrupted her before she got anything out.

"It doesn't matter." Was all I said.

I got sick of the inactivity and began putting my presents away. I put away the silk dress that Tasha gave me. It was a deep red, embroidered with flowers. Even though I couldn't remember her from before Tasha was a really great person.

"That was nice of Tasha, to give that to you."

"Yeah," I began. "It was, I really like Tasha."

"Me too,"

I spun around, shocked to find that my mother and I had just agreed on something. For as long as I can remember we never got along, let alone thought along the same lines. It was definitely out of the ordinary, and by the look of shock and surprise on her face, she had had the same reaction.

"Guardian Belikov will make a nice match for her,"

"I, uh," _What?_ "I beg your pardon?"

"Oh, Tasha Ozera asked Guardian Belikov to be her Guardian as she has none."

Oh, well I guess "That's nice. They are friends after all." Admittedly I was slightly sad to think of Dimitri leaving, after all, we'd been through so much together. Had we?

She began speaking again, oblivious to what was going on inside my head."More than that, or there could be, I suppose."

"Huh? You suppose?"

"Oh, she's _interested_ in him." She made it sound like romantic matters were no concern to her.

"Wait. So you mean that Tasha wants to start a family with him. With him as her _Guardian?_" She nodded. "Is he . . . Is he going to take it?"

"He should. An opportunity like this should be snatched up. Not that the Princess isn't a worthy charge, but he seems to won't that kind of thing, and with our profession it's hard to find something like this. He should snatch it up while he can. Rose? Rose what is it? What's wrong?"

"I," I sniffed. "I have no idea."

"What do you mean Rose?"

I wiped at the tears now streaming down my face. I honestly had no idea what made me cry, I was Rose Hathaway after all. I did _not_ cry. I looked up into my mother's concerned face from my position on the bed. She was truly worried now.

"I mean I'm crying and I don't know why. I can't remember. It's evident that subconsciously I do-hence the tears-but I don't know why."

She staggered back a few steps and clutched her hand over her mouth in shock. "Oh, Rose. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"What does it matter now?" I all but yelled at her. "It's too late for that." More tears escaped now. I was crying. Almost sobbing. I was crying for what I lost. What I couldn't remember. Most of all I was crying because I wanted a mother who was there for me. Someone I could tell everything too. But I couldn't have that. Instead I got one who causes loss of memory.

"I'm really tired."

"What?"

I repeated myself. "I'm really tired. Could you please leave? I just . . ." I trailed off, not knowing what else to say. She got the hint though.

She stormed out the door, slamming it behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

I didn't leave my room at all, I just let more tears flow. I stayed on my bed for hours and soon it was time for curfew anyway. Somehow I preferred the Christmas' Liss and I had when we ran away. I decided to back my bags for our trip to the ski resort.

It was apparent that while I was in the infirmary everyone in the moroi world had decided to head to a ski resort where they would all be together and all be safe. After all, the more moroi, the more guardians.

I fell asleep earlier than I usually would and woke up early as a result. We were taking off sometime in the afternoon so we just had to wait around while our luggage was boarded, then it was our turn to board.

As I walked down the aisle I saw Dimitri and Tasha sitting together talking animatedly. It left a pang in my heart to think of him leaving. Before I knew it tears welled in my eyes but I blinked them back down and continued on. Lissa and Christian we sitting curled up to each other, off in their own little world. Obviously I wouldn't be joining them. I spotted someone sitting by themselves and I bounded up towards them, a ridiculous grin plastered to my face.

"Hey Ashford, this seat taken?" I gestured to the empty seat beside him.

"It is now," He smiled flirtatiously at me and motioned me to sit down. I complied.

"It's nice to see your smiling face today."

I frowned. "Uh, what do you mean?" He laughed my reaction off.

"Well, you did have that _talk_ with your mother yesterday. And you didn't come back out of your room, so I figured it didn't go so well."

Yeah, well it didn't. I didn't like this topic so I decided to change it. "Hang on, how did you know I didn't come back out of my room? Are you stalking me?" I tried to fake a serious air, but it didn't hold, instead we both burst out laughing.

Once we calmed down he said, "Stalking someone as beautiful as you, just to get your attention? _Never!_ Is it working?" That flirtatious look was back and he eyed me expectantly, that grin never fading. I took his hand in mine and leaned in towards him.

"It just might, but you'll have to figure that out for yourself."

I pulled back just to tease him and he frowned. I laughed and decided to enjoy the rest of the flight.

We arrived at the resort and boy was it amazing or what. For the next few weeks we were going to be living like royals.

_**You all know what the resort looks like so I'll skip the details and get on with the rest.**_

I just collapsed onto the bed in mine and Lissa's room. I just never wanted to leave. I sank into the mound of feathered pillows and fluff that was my bed.

Once we were settled in Lissa came and jumped onto the bed, preventing me from falling asleep. We began to talk about trivial things at first, then she started to tell me more of the things I couldn't remember, going into detail-reliving events.

Eventually Lissa dragged me from the room, saying we needed to "socialise" and "go enjoy the slopes". Not that I was complaining.

We spent the whole afternoon with Mason and Christian testing the slopes and skiing to our hearts content. Lissa and Christian thought we were just reckless with our dangerous stunts and risky moves-but we had a blast.

The whole time Mason and I were doing dangerous moves a voice kept playing in my head saying I needed to learn control and that I should be more mature.

I just ignored it and pushed on. Who the hell were they to tell me to grow up? I didn't listen to anybody. I was Rose Hathaway for Christ's sake.

_**I'm honestly asking you all if someone would like to continue on my story for me. It's not like I don't enjoy writing it, I just hardly have time to. And yes, I know my chapters are incredibly short. But I'm writing a novel-a full length novel, hopefully it'll be just as successful as VA but still.**_

_**If anyone would like to continue this on just tell me in the reviews.**_

_**Thankyou**_

_**love Saphrenia.**_


End file.
